what·not/ˈ(h)wətˌnät/Noun
1. Used to refer to an item or items that are not identified but are felt to have something in common with items already named: “pictures and books and manuscripts and whatnot”.
2. A stand with shelves for small objects.
3. Incredulous exclamation.
Perched up on my local barstool, it is not uncommon to see me tipping over slightly while exclaiming incredulously to a girlfriend, “What?” followed by a “Not!” paired with an outstretched palm mimicking a half-drunken traffic cop. (Now, my too-cool-for-school friend, Jeremy, reminds me this phraseology is very 1982. So be it–I’m retro.)
These barroom tales include run-ins with geeks, freaks, creeps, and an occasional nice guy who just had a bad night. They vary in length, context, and credibility–but they always make us laugh. And that’s my goal here–to make you laugh out loud OR giggle OR smirk to yourself while thinking all the while, “I know someone just like that!” You may even be inclined to slap a knee or two.
I also wouldn’t mind it terribly if you share this blog with–oh–every single one of your friends. After all, Dating What? Not! is a shameless attempt at promoting my upcoming book. Like the anecdotes throughout my book, the snippets of stories here are non-fictional accounts of my life as a 40-something single woman working hard at finding love while avoiding herpes.
Also like my book, the accounts here are not appropriate for children or easily offended adults. While I’m trying to be funny as opposed to being malicious, feelings may get hurt inadvertently as I go about Denver breaking hearts and taking names. Therefore, the names here (except for my own) have been changed. Everything else is the utter, undisputed truth. What? Not!
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