Tag Archives: Denver
Gag Reflex
Of course, I can’t really blame the men. They undoubtedly see right through my shiny veneer. Sure, I’m cute as hell in my Santa hat and boots. My Julia Roberts-style smile shows off many years and dollars’ worth of orthodontia. Can we say Photoshop? I’m not fooling anyone. They read between the lines of my […]
The Keys to Confidence
Our hodge-podge group of acquaintances meet for football and dancing (odd combination, I know) at a local lounge rented out for a private party. Wearing my thigh high leather boots and sequin mini-skirt, I am ready to get down to some serious boogie-ing. The energy feels ripe for a woman who exudes confidence. Looking around the […]
Sleuthing with Dick and Jane
“Can you even believe I got cock-blocked by Jesus?” Diana’s question is one she returns to on occasions when she is stuck with a particularly disappointing penis the night before. “Edgar has the perfect penis . . . . If I wasn’t getting cock-blocked by Jesus I would get to be with Edgar and wouldn’t […]
Wear This (Oh God! NOT That!) On Your First Date
Those happy couples always get me. This is especially true when I’m working retail and the giddy beyond fucking belief duos wander in together holding hands. The difference this time was that I recognized her. Sometimes this who-has-a-memory-like-that? gift is a curse (like when I recognize students from years ago when they are completely inebriated) […]
Velcro Girl
Robyn met Curt the old fashioned way—he saw her profile, emailed her, asked her out, and promptly seduced her into bed with him. According to Robyn, things were moving along swimmingly. They had “amazing” chemistry, he was a good listener, and he was sufficiently attentive. She liked it that he texted her a couple of […]
Midlife Dating Hell: Take Two
Well, the last one didn’t work at all, so here is a revised copy of my most recent version of my online dating profile. Hopefully it will garner more of a response than the last one. SOLAR POWERED This California girl couldn’t be happier in Denver where we are just that much closer to the […]
Three Encounters of the Oh-So-Wrong Kind
Close-Call #1 As he reaches over to shake my hand he oozes flirtatiousness, “Hi, my name is Jack.” I can tell that my date, Dan, isn’t really paying attention to our exchange so I say, “Yes. I know. We’ve met before—just not in person.” It’s a warm night in Cherry Creek, Colorado and our lively […]
Faith in Love
I did not know them as a couple. Deb and I played poker together on nights when Roy had to work as a bouncer at the strip club. Later, after Deb established her reputation as a strong card player, she became a part-time dealer for the company hosting the nightly tournaments at the bar down […]
Midlife Hell: Oh, What To Do About My Online Dating Profile?
I’m afraid it’s come to that time again–time to put my sorry ass back onto the Internet and “wrastle me up some men”. The good news is that I’ve hired a photographer to get my pic up to par, but I desperately need help with my profile introduction. I know, I know, I’m a writer–this […]
Follow the Yellow Brick Rules: Day 1
Before I embark on a 20 mile bike ride around the city on my mountain bike, I diligently apply the Rules required lip gloss and smile to the mirror: You look beautiful. This is the attitude I choose to embrace despite the odd combination of Lancome‘s Sweet Cherry Surprise and spandex shorts with shortie socks. […]
